Coaches think they are better than everybody else and have all the answers; how can that help me?
First, I will say that not all coaches are the same.
Still, some coaches do present themselves as experts, offering their personal “hell-and-back” survival stories and current success as proof of their superhero powers, magic, and genius. And, to be fair, their kind of success story is what some people are looking for. Many who are hurting want to work with the person who did battle with their same demons, and came out victorious, happy, and successful on the other side.
The downfall of that strategy, I think, is in how unique and different each of us is. Just because a strategy worked for that expert, it doesn’t mean their path is going to fit who you are, what you believe, or how you are wired. Then, you’re right back to trying to be someone you’re not.
I believe the path for each client is very personal. Your path is built upon your very own version of “The Rules.” So, if you find yourself stuck, or questioning even if you’re on your right path, then having a coach who listens deeply to what matters to you, where you want to go, and what is holding you back, can be the difference between staying stuck and moving forward.
I’ll be honest—I’m still navigating my own path, and I certainly still stumble at times. I don’t have all the answers. And, I certainly don’t have all your answers.
If anything, I may be five minutes ahead of you.
Now, the person who wants to be rescued by “the expert”—I get it, and I’ll tell you I’m not your kind of coach. I’m not going to present myself as perfect and infallible; because, I’m just not. And, frankly, I wouldn’t want to try and live up to that expectation.
I also believe you can rescue yourself. And, learn your superhero powers, magic, and genius along the way.
Now, if you’re like I was when I first got coached, I needed someone who really heard me. Who really got me. Who I really believed knew my struggle, and, yeah, some of my pain. Heard me, understood me, and then worked with me, to see and plot my way forward.
Before I first got coached, life seemed so cluttered and complicated. To me, the people around me seemed just as stuck, scared, and dissatisfied with their situations as I was with mine. All we did was complain and blame, and numb and avoid. It was a downward spiral, and I knew I wanted out. But, I couldn’t see how.
Frankly, the experts didn’t work for me, because I knew I wouldn’t or couldn’t follow through with their strategies and plans. I had lost confidence in myself and my abilities.
Somehow, intuitively, I knew I wanted to work with someone just “five minutes ahead”—a coach who understood how gosh-darn scared and hurting I was, and didn’t want to be anymore. Understood why it wasn’t easy to “just do it.”
Working with a thoughtful, heart-based coach, I began to hear the guidance and goodness in my own heart, and the desire and motivation that would lead me out of my spiral of self-doubt and negativity. I learned to practice spiritual discipline and self-care, so that my heart and spirit are full, nurturing my best intentions.
I’m practicing my gifts, my magic, and my genius.
I don’t have your answers. But, I will be your companion and your confidante. I will be your co-conspirator as you break free of your “Old Rules.” And, I will help you find your answers, and Write Your Own Rules. Or, maybe your flavor of freedom means No Rules.
But, here’s the thing—every excuse you have for staying on the sidelines keeps you out of the change game.
If you want things to change, but a certain type of coach doesn’t work for you, don’t give up on the whole idea of coaching. Look for the coach who will help you find what you’re looking for. Lean in and listen to your intuition.
Isn’t it time?