August 27, 2016—Day 239 (WD 520)

Sunrise Pages August

Glorious, Dear Universe!

Today I am up before the sunrise, and I’ve been enjoying the pre-dawn light in the valley, with the thinnest of veils of fog woven through.

It looks to be a sunny, bright day, and I’ll be on the water.  I haven’t had a class in a while, so I’m nervous about getting the curriculum right, and providing for everyone to have a good time; I’m also nervous because one of our store’s management team is going to audit my first class; and finally, I’m nervous because my second class is the four hour, more intensive, introduction kayak class that I’ve only instructed once before, and I’ll be working with an instructor I’ve not worked with before.

Really, though, this list tastes of the same discomfort as my business lizard’s list from a couple nights ago.  When I draw back to a higher perspective, it almost seems like I’m looking, trying to find anything about which to be nervous.

The trickiest part here is that I don’t want to blow smoke up my own bum, and just tell myself, “Everything will be fine.”

Because, sometimes it won’t.  Sometimes, I’ll fall on my face.

Maybe I’ll always have a little bit of terror.  I don’t know.  But, daring to do is the only way I get to touch my dreams, or at least try.

Otherwise, all I’ll do is keep running on trails by myself, and continuing to work safely, but without deep fulfillment, behind a register.  And, watch as my heart breaks, and my soul starves.

I get to work on the water today, sharing an exciting adventure with people eager to reach into their unknowns.  I’ll get some probably constructive, helpful feedback on my instruction methods.  And, I’ll get a chance to experience another instructor’s style, and get to know him a little bit.

But, I only get the chance by taking a chance.

It’s actually a really cool way to spend a workday.

 

And now, Today’s Prompt:

Dear Pilgrim, this is a place to start with examination and counter-arguments to your lizard’s Top Shouts and Fears.

Can you take the shouts and fears and see how they might also be opportunities you won’t get any other way?

The big question for yourself is – Why would you put yourself through this discomfort, this terror?  Is the reward something you want even more?

 

Focusing on the rewards, Dear One, believing the terror is less than I imagine, and knowing I will survive it.  Onwards, My Dear Guides!

 

P.S.  My sleep was a little restless, so Sleep Scale: 3.5/5.

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