Good Morning Again, Dear Creator!
Blue skies with puffs and wisps of white clouds dressing it all up, this morning looks lovely. I was good-tired and slept soundly last night – Sleep Scale: 4/5.
I’m sure it helped that I co-led a sunset kayak tour last evening. The storm clouds from mid-day disappeared, and the breeze, as well, and our paddle was a peaceful tour of a gentle river. Paddling on the river when there’s no wind to battle, particularly in the stillness, quiet, and light of the evening, is so very soothing to my soul.
Soothing to my soul – that is a treasured sensation. But, even within that wonderful space, there is territory that my lizard owns, and does his work of fear and doubt on me.
It goes something like this – when I am doing something that soothes my soul, I feel free from burden, unattached, and without tension. That’s where my lizard likes to step in and point out to me how different I feel when I am risking, when I am stretching and trying something new or something I fear – definitely tense, constricted, uncomfortable, and heavy. Why, he asks me, would you put yourself into that discomfort, when it is the exact opposite of how you expect and want to feel?
That is an argument my lizard frequently would win. A lot.
By the way, I think it’s important to state that I fully recognize that I’m the one who hired my lizard in the first place. He’s just doing his job. The mission I assigned him was to protect me from harm, and he’s doing his best to do just that.
But, the lizard’s vision is very short-sighted. He dwells in my mind, and his information and tools are limited to thoughts – memories of the past and predictions of the future.
I have trained him and drilled him to see the slightest possibility of failure and discomfort and to sound the alarm and push the Emergency Stop button.
So, that’s what he does.
But, here’s what he doesn’t see – that, in avoiding all risk, my world never expands. I never try new experiences or go unfamiliar places. I never get to know or connect with different people. In fact, in the mission to avoid all risk, my world actually begins to shrink, because I lose confidence in myself; I don’t test, practice, or strengthen any of my personal abilities. And, ultimately, as my abilities, resilience, and self-confidence dwindle, the only way to feel no risk is to hide in an ever smaller shell within myself.
Here’s what I’ve learned – I had to face fear, feel uncomfortable, and risk failure to begin the adventure of paddling on the water. Of being a life coach. Of moving and making new friends. Or, getting married.
These all carry uncertainty, moments of discomfort, and times of tension and unbalance. Yet, as I pursue these adventures, with their puzzles and challenges, I learn about myself, and I learn how capable and strong I am.
And, I experience a bigger, more beautiful world with more and more love.
Heck, even with last evening’s class, I had to face uncertainty and risk vulnerability to get there. And, the magical Truth is – It’s always worth it.
Most times, things go fine. But, within those times, there are little bumps and wrinkles along the way. And, I puzzle-solve, play, and stretch. And learn about myself.
Sometimes, things go really wrong, or someone has a terrible time, or I do feel like a failure.
Yet, still, I learn about myself. I learn about my world around me. And, especially, I learn that I can survive!
Dear One, how about this Prompt:
Identify your “good” risks –
At the beginning, all risk may feel the same. But, as you look more closely, you will see two types of risk – aversion and anticipation.
Anticipation risk – imagine how you would feel on a super-hot day, standing on a diving board above a beautifully clear pool of refreshing water. The board is slightly higher than makes you comfortable, but the water is just so inviting. You feel slightly nervous about the height, but you are drawn to the water.
That’s how I felt about kayaking.
Aversion risk is if you looked down from the diving board, and you saw the pool filled with sludge and garbage, and you knew there was no way you were going to dive in.
Notice how different each of those images makes your body feel when you imagine them.
Recognize the difference between the risks in your life, and challenge yourself to take a step toward your anticipation risks.
I want to keep diving into the cool water – my new adventures and experiences! With your Love and Guidance, My Spirits. Thank You!
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