June 5, 2016—Day 156 (WD 437)

Sunrise Pages June

Good Morning, Grand Universe!

The beginning of another day, filled with wonder, mystery, and potential.

It helps me to start off my day acknowledging the vast Unknown that lies before me – the Reality that Anything might happen.

That thought no longer fills me with dread.  And, that is a good, healthy thing.

When I feared the Unknown, I subconsciously circled my wagons around the little false beliefs I held about myself, my abilities, and my role and fit in the world around me.

I thought the only way to protect myself – from hurt and pain, from embarrassment, from disapproval and disconnection – was to stay inside that tight circle of “What I Know,” even though living within there was painful, scary, and unbalanced – just in ways with which I had grown familiar and comfortable.

How did things change?  Why do I no longer fear the Unknown?

For me, the first step was recognizing my fear.  I had to do a lot of work to get beyond thinking “I’m afraid of this happening, or that happening,” and to recognize that what really scared me was when, subconsciously, I understood that Anything could happen, and that I really had no control.

Recognition of my fear didn’t make it just disappear.  I tried to think myself around it, through it, under and over it; but, I think that just reinforced it.  I wanted to will it away – you know, “if I’m good enough, strong enough, or smart enough, I should be able to conquer this.”

These were just the kinds of thoughts of approval and judgment that had constructed my fears in the first place.  No, I found that my fear wasn’t something I could just will away.  My fears were intricately woven into my self-identity.  I couldn’t let go of my fears without losing my sense of myself, and I was still too afraid of the Unknown to risk letting go of who I thought I was.

There’s a kind of rope-burn we get when we hold too firmly to painful thoughts, choosing to believe them, rather than risk letting go; not sure what would then happen.

That was me – hurting and lost, but afraid to let go; afraid that I might become even more hurt and more lost, if I let go to my small circle of beliefs.

Yet, I had this hope and wish for something more.  And, not in the sense of more stuff.  That, in this life of mine, I could have peace, well-being, balance, and connection.  I knew, somehow, that I could reside in contentment.

I just couldn’t will myself there.  It was like monkey traps I’ve heard about, where there’s a banana in a box, and there’s a small hole for the monkey’s hand.  When the monkey reaches inside the box and grabs the banana, he can’t get his hand out while holding the banana.  He thinks he’s trapped, because he just can’t see that all he needs to do is release the banana.

Yeah, that feels familiar.

So, I asked My Guides and My Creator to please just take my fear away.  I admitted that I wasn’t able to see how to do it myself, but that I desperately wanted things to change, and I saw that My Fear was in my way.

At first, I didn’t believe I had the right to ask, and that it was “cheating;” that I was “supposed to” do it myself.

You know what?  My Guides were just waiting for me to relinquish my attempted control and ask for help.  Because, you know – That’s what They do!

 

So, here’s a Prompt you can try today:

What is your struggle?  Where is your biggest roadblock?

And, here’s a tip – if you answer that it’s your kids, your job, your spouse, or your life – dig a little deeper to see if it’s your fear or beliefs about that thing that is really the roadblock.

Would you be willing to ask Your Guides for help in changing your beliefs about that thing?

Are you tired of rope-burn?

 

Thank you, My Guides, for dissolving my Fears and False Beliefs!  Freedom!

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