May 2, 2016—Day 122 (WD 403)

Sunrise Pages May

Dearest, Dearest Creator,

Thank you for holding me in the Light of your Grace.  I know I am safe, even when I feel scared; I know I am okay, even when I’m struggling; and, I know I am loved, even when I feel unlovable.

My day, today, is out-of-sorts.  Or, I should say that it feels out-of-sorts to me.  I’ve rested, though, which I needed.  And, now I’m trying to shake off the thought that I have too much that I “need” to do today to have spent time this morning resting.

I also hadn’t posted yesterday’s Sunrise Pages last night, so I feel a bit like I’m still catching up.  For each month, I’ve created a new title image, so I decided to wait and work on that this morning.  All that is done, and I’m happy with it.

I am safe.  I am okay.  I am loved.  I am held in the Light of my Creator’s Grace.

Ah, yes.  I’m beginning to remember.

I’m writing these pages now, then I’m meeting with Hilary to hit some golf balls, even though it’s a cold, rainy day.  Spending time coaching her is very satisfying, and I keep learning, too.  I’m looking forward to it.

Beyond that, I need to study kayaking and paddleboarding, to prepare for my instructor assessment this weekend.  I know I’m nervous about learning these new skills, and I now recognize something I do in these situations.  I’m naturally a fact-finder, so I always act like there’s more research and at least one more piece of information I need, before I can “dive in” and start doing.

That’s my lizard’s strategy to keep things the way they are.  I can feel myself slowing down, my feet getting heavy and sluggish – even though I’m trying to move toward something that feels so exciting and right for me.

So, I’m grateful to see all this.  I can tell my lizard, “Thanks for looking out for me.  I think this is a good thing, moving us in the right direction.  Know that I hear you, but I’m going to keep moving us forward.”

Then, I take some deep breaths, to find my calm, my heart, my peace.  I’m safe.  I’m okay.  I’m loved.  I’m held in the Light of Grace.

My goal is to just keep moving.  I recognize that my steps are tentative, and my stride is shorter, less confident.  It’s like there are bands resisting my steps forward, pulling me back.  Each step forward feels tougher, but I can will myself to just keep stepping, even small steps, forward.

Metaphor time – here, writing, I felt myself getting uptight just thinking about my training.  I got up to get more coffee, and a song came on that I just started dancing to.  Fun, expressive – release.

Ah, that’s an answer.  I can tap into my creative, expressive energy, just get moving.  When I focus on the resistance I feel (think), and I’m trying to will myself through it, it’s like pushing against my judo opponent, making the resistance stronger.

I can just metaphorically dance – have fun, play and learn, focus on the journey and let go of a destination.

I am safe, I’m okay, and I am loved!

 

Here’s a Prompt you can try today:

Dancing and singing can be such a sweet release of the tension and fear we are holding within.  Find and play Your Jam, and answer that call, moving your body and releasing Your Spirit.  Try 10-15 minutes of music today.  For added sweetness, let yourself sing away while you move.

 

Dearest Creator – Thank you for Your Grace and Love!  I am blessed!

Please, Join In and Share--