Most Warm and Loving Universe –
Thank you for the abundance of warmth and kindness in this world. Thank you for providing me with opportunity after opportunity to give compassion and understanding, and also plenty of situations where receiving some compassion and understanding has been a blessing.
I think it’s always been a little tougher, for me, to be on the receiving end of compassion. It’s always been more comfortable for me to offer help and give someone a hand, rather than to admit needing assistance.
Why is that?
I wonder, Dear Reader, if when I ask that question, your mind starts shouting out answers. Mine does – “Needing help reveals weakness. Needing help means you’re less than; you’re not enough. Not being able to figure something out and do it on your own means you aren’t a real man. It’s shameful to need help.”
These shouts from my lizard go on and on. They do center on a couple themes – First, that I should not need help. That a complete person and real man can always manage anything and everything by himself. Second, there’s a real focus and concern about how others see me. I can even feel where it’s a whole separate problem – it’s one thing not to be able to do something myself; but, it’s a whole different problem for people to know that, because then they will know I’m not worthy. That’s where the story of shame enters, for me.
I started these pages this morning expressing gratitude for the Universe giving me situations where I needed help. Why would I do that when I’ve just expressed how my lizard responds in these exact situations?
That’s one of the miracles of this Universe, Dear One – we don’t always get what we want; we get what we need. And, I’ve needed the opportunity to practice managing my lizard fears, and to practice being authentic.
Because, here’s another way of looking at things. It’s like we’re all on a big playground, and our interaction with anybody is like playing on a see-saw. It’s just the nature of that toy that we flow back and forth with who is up and who is down. We move and shift weight to continue going up-and-down. That’s the game. That’s the fun of it.
How do we show up when we offer to help someone, if deep down we’re thinking it’s weak and shameful to need help? Or, do you tell yourself you only think that about yourself, not other people who need help?
Dear One, there is nothing in this Universe that is only true for you! We are all connected; there is only us.
We see someone in need, and we want to help. It fills us up. Quite simply, that is what we provide when we express our need and open ourselves to receive – we give others the opportunity to help us and fill themselves up. And we get to watch.
Bottom line – it’s about authenticity. Whatever it is that you’re trying to do, if it really matters to you, then it is more rewarding to ask for help and achieve your goal, than to save your pride.
Your True Hero Nature knows that the bravest thing is to ask for the help you need.
What does your lizard shout out at the idea of asking for help? List the top ten.
Then take the time to turn that thought around – how is that not true?
Dear Guides, thank you for encouraging me to team up and enjoy collaboration – being more than I would be alone!