April 4, 2016—Day 94 (WD 375)

Sunrise Pages April

Namasté, Generous Creator!

The wild winds of the last couple days have died down, the cold has settled in, and outside is a beautiful, gentle snowfall.  Not much accumulation is predicted, but this morning transports me back to deep December, rather than early April.

Dear Guides, shall we continue where I left off yesterday?  The topic was self-sacrifice being proof of love.  I know we’ve had many conversations about this, so we have a bit of short-hand.  But, I wanted to provide a little more depth to this complex subject.  My Guides, I appreciate the support you give me.

The realization I had the other night was how often I am aware, and likely influenced, by my ego.  Even when I’m doing something kind and loving, my ego is often asking, “Am I doing this right?  Is my effort appreciated?  Will this keep me worthy of love and kindness?”

Me, Me, Me.

In this moment of realization, I recognized that my sense of self through my ego created constriction.  It was the opposite of freedom, this egocentric concern for approval, acceptance, and love.

When I let my ego guide, I become an actor, playing roles and pandering for affection.  This is the opposite of integrity, and it’s the greatest sacrifice of all – the Sacrifice of My Truth.

Now, I don’t say this as a harsh criticism.  This is simply one of the many choices we continually make as we navigate the River of Our Life.

Quite simply, the realization the other night was that I would be the most Free, and it was the most True – when I acted from a Foundation of Selflessness; when I reached a level of presence where the concerns of my ego were not heard, and I acted in the Truth of My Pure Consciousness.

This action would be Radiating Love.  I am the Source, and unlimited, unconditional Love would flow forth from me, lifting and healing everyone.

As I saw this, I gained a new awareness, even in that moment, for how frequently I return to the “I” in my thoughts and stories.  But, it is a new perspective for me to practice with, and hopefully make stronger.

I thought of that Observer part of us, that which simply watches us and all, as we choose and move through time and space.  That Observer, who is not our mind, nor our body, but other.

And then the thought: how one’s essence continues somehow, somewhere, when the body dies.  Perhaps that is the same other – the Observer, the Spirit.

I played with the notion that my Observer stays hyper-focused on me simply because that’s been the only approach I have ever practiced.  I pictured my Observer self floating along with me as I walked.

So, I tried becoming more aware of the Observer; to be the Observer, just watching this meat-and-bones body walking through the night.

I floated above, feeling separate, looking down at that person walking.  And, if I could watch this person, could I watch others?  I then imagined looking down on my loved ones as they slept.

I felt free from tiredness and fatigue.  I felt free.  I felt like I could sense and send love to my loved ones and the souls of drivers passing by.

Yet, when I thought about how that connection felt in “me,” the separation between the Observer and me faded.

A call for more practice!

 

Today’s Prompt:

As you journey through today, try to notice all the times Ego speaks up – “What do they think of me?  Do they approve?  Am I doing this right?  Am I earning love?”

 

Thanks for your Loving Guidance, My Spirits!

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