March 29, 2016—Day 88 (WD 369)

Sunrise Pages March

Welcome to the New Day, Dear Guides!

The clouds this morning are dark and ominous.  There is snow to the north, but here it’s just cool and quite windy.  Temperatures this week will once again climb and then fall.

Does the roller coaster weather reflect something going on within me?  Something I ponder.

Yesterday, I wrote about retaliation versus non-violence.  We certainly have witnessed non-violence in resistance and protest to injustice and intolerance.  But, I alluded to noticing how we respond on a personal level when we are confronted with challenging, hurtful, angry attitudes.

Not surprisingly, I suppose, I received my own challenging confrontation yesterday.  In retrospect, I tell myself now that it will seem benign enough.  Here’s what happened –

There was a fellow who wanted to know why we don’t sell maps and trail guides.  But, it went beyond that.  His tone and sentiment was outrage that we would sell outdoor clothing and equipment, but not information of where to go.  His whole attitude and language was accusatory, and then he started to add the taunt that I would not do anything about it because I don’t care.

It was a curious encounter.  I felt insulted and personally attacked.  I felt my shame and defense buttons being pressed.  I wanted to defend and attack at the same time.  I’m sure my blood pressure shot up.

I noticed myself noticing these responses in me.  My observer reminded me that it wasn’t personal – this guy doesn’t know me, so has no idea what he’s claiming about me.

I let my Observer Self know that it sure felt personal.

For whatever reason, this was how this guy had chosen to interact with me.  It stung, when he accused me of not caring.  Because I do care.

He made some valid points about having map and book resources for getting outside.  But, why did he have to attack me?  Why did he seem to want to antagonize me to respond?

I don’t know.  I don’t need to know.  Not My Business.

I did my best to hear him.  I chose not to engage, defend, or retaliate; but much of me wanted to do all three.  When I thought it through, though, I couldn’t see getting any satisfaction or peace from those responses.

So, I listened.  I promised to pass along his comments (which I did).  Then, I worked on clearing the negative emotional energy away, to try and return to a calm, pleasant state.

Then, I got home, and last night began typing up my writings from yesterday morning.  And, there it all was.  My question – How do we respond in those smaller, daily situations that challenge us?  Do we retaliate?  Do we take it personally?  Or can we choose compassion and peace?

Is it coincidence that I had the encounter I did, after what I wrote yesterday morning?  I don’t think so.  I think every day we have encounters of disagreement and challenge, of varying shapes and sizes.  I am grateful that the encounter yesterday pulled my thoughts from theory to reality.  To see that I’ve got more work I want to do.

 

And now, a Prompt:

During the next day, routinely check in with your Observer Self.  Tune in to what state you are in – like me noticing when I was taking the comments personally.

Don’t make your observations mean anything, just notice.

 

Dear Guides, help me find and work toward My Purpose, while having rest and peace.  Thank you!

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