Sunrise Pages

Good Morning, Creator!  Here we are joining to create another new day.  What will it hold?  Ha – I don’t know!

The world of “don’t know” is the beginner’s mind, a learner’s mind.  It’s not a bad place to be.

The truth is, there is so much in our world we don’t know, and is uncertain; yet, we pretend and try to convince ourselves differently.  Uncertainty can feel unsettling; so we tell ourselves we’ve seen this pattern or behavior, and we believe we can forecast the future.

I’m curious and ask, “What will the weather be today, or this weekend?”  And, I’ll tune in to see the forecast.

I also tease about how often the forecasters are wrong (even though I actually am impressed about how close they are so often, with a great understanding of the weather systems at play).

When we predict, we often must assume something specific for a lot of variables.  How long will it take to drive there?  Google Maps will give you an estimate, but it won’t know about the car accident, or the snow storm, or maybe the flat tire you get.

But, we want to believe our predictions, because it gives us a sense of understanding and control over our world.  Have a loved one upset with you, but don’t know why; or feel ill and know something is physically wrong, but have no diagnosis or treatment plan – see how out of control not knowing can feel.

Unfortunately, our solution for this feeling out of control is to make assumptions and lump things that are somewhat different into one big box.  You know, there is the adage about assuming.

Another thing we tend to do is follow and repeat our patterns of behavior, because it does tend to produce the same, therefore more predictable, results.  The funny thing is, we repeat these patterns whether or not we prefer the results produced.

The system of the dysfunctional family, for example, is often based on this phenomenon.  Each person has his or her role in the family, and certain patterns, maybe addiction, abuse, neglect, rebellion, pacification, or avoidance become established.  Although there is great stress and discomfort within this system of dysfunction, it feels more disturbing and uncomfortable to consider breaking these unhealthy patterns.  If one of the family members attempts to change his/her relationship to the system, often the others work to bring that person back into their role, to maintain “order.”

That’s a dramatic, example, but this resistance to pattern change often appears in our lives in smaller or sneakier ways.  Consider some of the resolutions people make this time of year – I want to lose weight; quit smoking; be more active; spend more time with friends, or family; be more calm and less stressed.

Part of the solution to goals like these begins with changing behavior patterns.  A great way to accomplish that is to be mindful of your time and what you do with it.

If you are on auto-pilot, you will just continue to do what you’ve always done.  For example, I have a friend who wanted to eat healthier and lose weight.  But, he would come home from work night after night, stressed out and tired, and tell himself he earned the right to sit in front of the TV, devouring a big bag of chips.

It’s not that he didn’t deserve something, but this action didn’t serve his goal or honor his health and self-care.  He needed to change patterns and stay mindful of his goals and intentions.  Not just when he came home at night, but caring for himself throughout his workday, and even when he was at the grocery store.

For me, these Sunrise Pages are a change in pattern and behavior.  I write these three pages out long-hand, because that’s what Julia Cameron recommends in The Artist’s Way.  There is a flow and rhythm to it, for me; I enjoy the sound and feel of the pen tip on paper, and the weight of the pen in my fingers; it satisfies me to see my handwriting fill the page, and to see so many pages of my writing.  There’s a weight to these pages, both mentally and physically.

Now that I’m posting these, I’ve added typing them up each night as another thing to do.  This obviously takes some time.  That’s a shift, and I’m trying to re-balance my day.  Where does that time come from, right?  Sometimes trying to find time can be the first stumbling block we hit in trying to change.  So, I’ll be sharing how I’m working through finding that answer for myself, and re-establishing some balance.

The sun is up.  It’s another cold day here, crisp and bright.

Thank you, Great Spirit!  Onward!