January 3, 2016—Day 2 (WD 283)

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Good Morning, Creator!  Thank you for the beauty and wonderful synergy I experienced yesterday!  But, there were parts of yesterday that were pretty tough.  Just the way life is, a lot of the time, right?  And this morning is proof that I survived it.  I also did my best to stay mindful and patient during the challenges.  As one colleague commented, she thought I handled things with grace.  I hope so.

So, some more information about the pattern of my “Sunrise Pages” practice.  One of the most powerful and freeing ideas for me, with Morning Pages, was Julia Cameron’s direction to release any concern for whether this writing was good; or good enough.  The idea is to get one’s ego out of the way, and just write with inspiration.  Guiding mantras like “The Source is responsible for quality; right now your job is quantity,” and “Let the message come from the Source; you are just the vehicle, the voice, the pen on the paper.”  *These are not direct quotes—again, my interpretation and paraphrase of the process.

This idea of being the messenger, the conduit, went a long way in freeing up my writing.  One of the things I focused on—especially initially, but even still—was to notice when my writing would slow or stop.  Because, I recognized that as a sign when I was getting caught up in word craft, worrying concerned more about how the message read and sounded, instead of staying open to the flow of the message itself.

Here’s my take on this writing process.  I see it as artistic.  I think, and I’ve heard artists and writers I admire refer to, their best art coming from outside them, through them, when they are open and receiving.  They talk about it as a form of conversation and relationship with the Universe.

I am convinced this personal creative expression (or expressive creativity—ha!) is a mystical concoction imagined by the Universe, and offered through me—a message and art aligned with the who that I am at that very moment, then flavored with my unique tenor and skills to share with the world.

And why?  It doesn’t really make sense to me that it is I am given this divine inspiration to feed my ego.  No.  Through what I’ve written, considered, and explored, I feel I’ve certainly learned, witnessed, and understood more about myself, and the world around me.

It’s often been tough, in the sense that I’ve been guided to witness and admit my own weaknesses and failings.  Not easy work.  Not very comfortable.

But, it’s where I’ve learned to grow; to make effective changes that make a difference—in who I am, and in how I want to be.

Because, this I had realized a while ago—armoring up, to hide my weaknesses and failings from the world, and myself—wasn’t working.  It was just causing my world to shrink.

I used to think I was supposed to feel comfortable in the world.  And, my weaknesses and failings, what other people thought of me, and what I thought and expected of myself, often made me feel uncomfortable.

What I’m working on now is to try to find ~acceptance, and a willingness to be uncomfortable in the world.  To understand we all feel it—it’s the growing pains of the continuous change in life.

In my Martha Beck world, we use the metaphor of the metamorphosis of the caterpillar into the butterfly.  Think about it – don’t we all want to see a butterfly as our possibility?  But, consider the fantastic, drastic change that has to happen for that caterpillar to emerge from its chrysalis as a beautiful, colorful, winged being.

Do you think the caterpillar gets scared?  Do you think he would, if he knew what the process entailed?  Would it break your heart to learn there would be no more butterflies, because the caterpillars all thought it was too hard and scary to change?

Such are my Sunrise Pages  🙂  I had no plan to this writing, and this is what I was given.  This is why I begin each day’s writing with a greeting to the Supreme, and I end with gratitude for what I have been given; what showed up.  It keeps me mindful that it is greater than me, and these are gifts I am given.

Like yesterday—on my way to work, I heard a great story about recognizing the importance and significance of how we feel beauty (Richard Seymour: How Does Beauty Feel?).  Then, as I pulled in to the parking lot, I saw a wonderful great blue heron, slowly and gracefully ascending as she flew along the river.  Like the moment slowed, and held, just to be sure I noticed.  Grace.  A blessing.

Gifts from the Universe.  I am grateful for them, and the presence I am given, to recognize and appreciate them!  Thanks, Great Spirit!

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