heartI attended a workshop this morning.  Although it was a rather early start on another cold morning in New England, the turnout was good, to the point that organizers had to keep adding chairs to keep up.  Apparently a hot topic, the workshop was entitled “Growing Sales With the 5-Point Referral Process,” presented by Lori Richardson.  Granted, the workshop was free, but still, a lot of people attended rather than knocking off some other item on their To-Do List.  To us in the audience, the value was in hopefully getting answers to our questions about using referrals to build business.

I don’t know if everyone else heard the same presentation I heard, or got from it the same message I got.  I really enjoyed what Lori had to say, and how she said it.  She LOVES sales, and not just because she’s good at it (which, judging by her accolades, she is).  She seems to love it because, for her, it’s a real opportunity to connect with others and to lift everyone up higher.  She focuses on relationship-building, not product sales.  She listens to what a person needs, not what she can sell to her/him.

She gave an example about how she was once contacted by a big company for some work, but she instead recommended her mentor for the job, knowing that her mentor was the better fit.  She talked about building strategic business partners, not by focusing on what they can do for you, but by focusing on what you can do for them.  Her message was about building genuine connections and being engaged.  Following up with clients and referrals, not to sell them more, but to reconnect with them.  Asking them what they are working on and how you can help.

Lori has a lot of experience.  And, she’s discovered that connecting and engaging, rather than trying to sell, works a lot better in the long run.  She said more than once, “Don’t keep score.”  Because, she told us, it usually doesn’t come back from the same direction—help you’ve given often moves forward, circles around and winds up helping you in ways you’d never predict.  So, don’t keep count.  Trust.  And enjoy.  Because, as she reminded us, it’s a great feeling when you play a part in someone else’s achievement.

During and after the presentation, I kept coming back to one thought—

“How we do anything is how we do everything.”

I strive to lead a life connecting and sharing.  Where does that leave me if I tell myself I need to “sell” my coaching services?  How I do anything is how I do everything.  I know my coaching can help people find the passion, joy, and individual expression in their lives.  Their discovery comes from building connections and relationships.  Our coaching relationship is based on connection, sharing, and trust.  The joy in my life emanates from the connections and relationships in my life.

How I do anything is how I do everything.