August of last year I started working with a local life coach, Michael Bornhorst. We met for the second time August 29, 2012. We discussed my “plan;” my desire to be a life coach. I told him my concerns: that people would think life coaching was a gimmick or scam, and they would judge me as bad or scheming. Mike pointed out that it was up to me–if I coached with doubt and fear, that would show up in my coaching; if I coached openly, honestly, and authentically, and believed in my coaching, that’s the kind of coaching my clients would get.
My transition point, though, emerged when Mike asked me what I thought was getting in the way of me reaching my goal. I had never spoken these words aloud to anyone, but I said, “I worry about my relationship with alcohol.” I told Mike that I worried that my drinking affected my motivation, mood, and productivity. Mostly, though, I confessed to my concern that this flaw made me weak, imperfect and unworthy; thereby creating the conflict to either admit that I was not worthy, or to pretend and pose.
I paused. I knew there was only one answer. But, I needed to know I meant it when I said it.
“I guess I’m going to stop drinking.”
And, I did. A year ago today. I didn’t even have one last drink to mark the end. Mike and I talked, and I haven’t had a drink since.
It’s been an interesting year. I never had cravings or withdrawal, but I have been aware, at different times, of moments when I would normally drink. I’ve asked God for help, and I think He has. I went to a couple AA meetings, mostly to see what it was all about. I don’t know if I am an alcoholic; I know I’m not a big fan of the label. But, I am what I am, and who I am. I can see that I used alcohol as a crutch and an excuse to not succeed, allowing me to avoid trying and possibly failing.
Mike helped me in many ways. He suggested I start running to replace drinking, and that’s become a healthy passion for me. He introduced me to Marianne Williamson’s powerful quote. He showed me how a good coach can help a person see his/her roadblocks and blind spots, then work together to create strategies and solutions. Working with Mike, I met my future self, dHarma. And Mike encouraged me to attend an All Men’s Workshop that really took my coaching, and my confidence, to an all-new level.
I’ve had an amazing, transformational year. Mike is an essential part of that. Tonight, though, I’m quietly celebrating my year of sobriety. Oh, and I’m showing up, putting myself out there, being vulnerable and courageous. Because, like Mike showed me, that’s what a good coach does.