Had a discussion this weekend, where I shared Dr. Gary Chapman’s theory about the 5 Love Languages. In a nutshell, the idea is that there are 5 different methods (Languages) by which love is communicated. The 5 Love Languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
The theory is that each person typically has one preferred language by which s/he expresses and receives love. Things can get complicated when a couple has different Love Languages. Dr. Chapman encourages us to take the time to learn the Love Language of our partner, or any loved one, to most directly and successfully convey our love to them. The driving force begins and ends with the goal of wanting a “loved one” to feel loved. When that is our goal, it makes complete sense to want to deliver the love in a way that the recipient can understand and receive it.
It is an outward effort, with selfless and outward energy.
This brings me around to my gratitude tonight. My wife and I discussed some serious, important, life-changing topics tonight. I think we feel safe enough to be honest and authentic. We sure try hard to be. Which isn’t an easy thing. I’m convinced I’ve spent most of my life up until now posing as confident, infallible, strong, and hard-working. I think we are trained in our society to pose as strong and right, instead of vulnerable and unsure. It is courageous to show our vulnerability. I am grateful that my wife and I have a safe place to be authentic.
We talked about adoption. I shared and reiterated what I have seen and heard and sensed about where my wife’s heart lies in the matter. I think she is most grateful that she has been heard. I am grateful that we have shared. Adoption is one of those big steps, where you really want to know where each of you are in relation to each other and the rest of the world. Listening, and expressing and receiving love…helps.